The first few weeks on the farm.

Dear Danielle,
Ah, the forever farm. We’ve been here for 3 weeks, and it feels like home. But would you expect anything less from God’s house? I say that because God and a runaway cow picked this home for this family of ours.

I’ve spent years thinking about what these first few days and weeks would feel like. The surreal feeling that I expected is definitely there. But jumping back into a full workload after taking off for moving week has me tuning out the surrealness there. And then there’s the hard stuff. I’ve compartmentalized the hard stuff in my brain because so much is going on that needs to be done. I’ve organized and filed it in a “deal with later” folder. 

  • The truth that the move was less than smooth is definitely in that folder. I’d be a liar if I didn’t say that waves of anxiousness run over me when the memories of that week come flooding into my brain. Hello, I placed you in the “deal with later” folder. It definitely is not later yet. 
  • Our truck is still at a random mechanic’s in West Virginia; it’s been resting place for the past 3 weeks because said truck decided to give up halfway through the moving trip. That’s definitely in the “deal with later” folder. 
  • On Halloween day, we were greeted with the news that my father has prostate cancer. The cancer that stole his father, my grandfather, from this world. The father of mine, who for the first time in over 30 years, is sober, is now met with the reality of the big C word. If you need a timeline reminder, this news came to us days before we moved. You go into the “deal with later” folder.
  • Add in readjusting to new routines, foods, stores and an entirely new community/culture down here. It’s a lot. 

But every morning, I look out my back window, and a wave of “this is ours” rushes over me. It’s not all day every day, but it hits me every day. Today I was driving back from the post office, and I was looking at the hay fields dotting the road. I shouted, “Oh my gosh, we did it. We freaking moved to Kentucky. We knew no one and just moved here”, even shocking myself. 

I’ve told Nick countless times through all the hard stuff that is happening right now. HE is still good. GOD is still good. I won’t say he isn’t – I know that’s what the enemy wants. Because amid the crazy chaotic and sometimes sad changes recently, we’ve connected more as a family, couple, and with new friends in the past few weeks than we had in the past few years. More family dinners at the table than before. More seeing friends and getting out of the house. More spending time outside without phones or earplugs in our ears. More mama and boys snuggling chapter book reading sessions. More Nick & I simply just enjoying our time together.

I hope you remember all that when you look back at this time, and not just the bad news we’ve recently gotten. There is so much good here too.

Thank soon,
Danielle

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